found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
