I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
