Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
