You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
