Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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