dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
