and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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