who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
