oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize