Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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