the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
this will be a night to untag.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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