He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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