Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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