I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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