Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
