Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
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