I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
