Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
