is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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