Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
