Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
