i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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