i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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