Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
