This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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