just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
