I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
