hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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