I'm going to jail i love you
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
