So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
