Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
