I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
