i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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