She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
