Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
