he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
