the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
