Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
