I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
