She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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