your thong is hanging out like whoa
Kiss
Puke
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
