he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
