No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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