long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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