how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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