everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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