At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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