Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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