she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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