He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
