lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
