i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
