dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
