Where did you get a picture of my penis
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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