Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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