Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize