i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize