K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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