Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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