Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
