Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i believe in u and ur pee
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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