11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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